Posts Tagged 'Michael Fearon'

Why the Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl

First up, Mike Fearon’s concrete logic for why the Pats are winning the Super Bowl this year…

In the Game of Bowls, you partake in Metaphorical Cannibalism or you die (apologies to George R.R. Martin).

While NY is happy paying for overpriced gastropub fare and SF is downing garlic fries on the bandwagon, the more cerebral, cunning, ruthless New England fan is devouring their opponents’ souls. Through black magic or the dark arts you ask? No, the Patriots will win through cooking a game day menu based on their opponent’s location and culture.

For example, the Denver Broncos didn’t stand a chance after I prepared and consumed Rocky Mountain Oysters and [The] Lamb [of God]. This combination represented the Colorado area’s hunger for prairie oysters while honing into their much ballyhooed QB’s belief system. The result: 45-10. Indeed the only miracle last Saturday was making Denver’s favorite fried snack edible.

To some, that might be a bit extreme. But how can I ask the Pats to try hard if I fail to put forth the same effort? This level of dedication is usually reserved for the Night’s Watch. Unfortunately, the sweet summer children in SF and NY are blissfully unaware of the long night, when the sunny victories hide for years, and children are born and live and die all in runner-up darkness. February 5 is time for fear, my little lords, when Wes Welkers move through the woods…

Oh you wanted real football reasons – here’s a simple formula:

Belichick + Brady + Gronkowski = BOOM!

Send a raven to the Inner Harbor. The pats are coming.

If that wasn’t scientific enough for you, I’ll turn it over to Annie Perkins who gives you Vegas’ take on the Patriots…

If the Las Vegas oddsmakers are correct, the New England Patriots will win Super Bowl XLVI. As of today, the Pats are 11/10 favorites to win it all! They are so sure of a Pats victory, that a bet of $100 on the Pats would only return $110. Contrast that with their opponent for this weekend: if the Ravens win the Super Bowl, a $100 bet pays $600!

Las Vegas and their bettors know that the Patriots are the number one seed in the AFC for a reason. They are a 9 point favorite to win at home this Sunday in the AFC Championship Game. As good a defensive team as the Ravens are, the Patriots have one of the best offensive alignments in the history of the game and the most playoff experience. If they make the Super Bowl this time, it will be the Patriots 5th in 11 years.

Patriots 35-14 in the AFC Championship and 30-21 in the Super Bowl.

(Personal side bar:  My husband has been a season ticket holder for almost 20 years.  I have been to 4 games in our 15 years of marriage…. My choice. He may have contributed to the content in this post.)